Elaine Cunningham - Car dealship rant
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01:13 pm
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Car dealship rant
Few things can frustrate me more quickly and disproportionally than wasting a couple of hours at the auto shop. Especially when the visit is occasioned not by a vehicle malfunction, but a previous error/oversight on the part of the service department. Especially when the guys in service not only evade responsibility, but imply that you were somehow to blame. But what REALLY pisses me off is when it's painfully obvious they're figuring they can tell you any illogical bullshit they want because you're female and won't know any better.
According to my female friends, this is a fairly widespread phenomenon. My next door neighbor is tempted from time to time to tell them about her PhD in mechanical engineering, but what would be the point? They wouldn't upgrade their logic. They probably wouldn't believe her. After all, she's not only female, but she's cute and little, and she'd probably have her two cute little girls in tow. No one who rolls with that much estrogen could possibly know shit about engines.
Anyway. I take in two spare keys they made me a few months ago for the Mazda Tribute. These keys open the door, but won't start the car. (The one mistake I did make in this process was not doublechecking the keys before I left the service department. No, make that two mistakes, the first being buying an effing Mazda in the first place.)
"We have no record of any keys being programmed," the service rep informed me.
"But I purchased them here. You guys made them for me."
"Yeah, but apparently they weren't programmed. They don't work unless they're programmed."
Now, I understand the need to program the remote, but the key? Plain, old-fashioned device? Okay, whatever. Times change. Still, I politely observed it seems odd they'd sell replacement keys (at $20 a pop, which I did not say out loud) without mentioning the need to program the keys. He immediately adopted that look of weary, wary patience that proclaimed my status had been upgraded to Problem Customer.
"Well, yeah, if someone, like, loses a set of keys or something and needed to replace them, sure. The key has to be programmed. But sometimes a guy just wants an extra key cut."
By now the technician had joined us, giving me a moment to reflect upon this strange pronouncement. If a key does not work unless it's programmed, for what purpose would any client seek extra Mazda keys? Craft supplies? Hostess gifts? Increasing one's options at key parties?
Before I would wrap my mind around this connundrum, the technician shook his head a little at the idiocy of customers and said, "Yeah, but then he gets home and finds out the key don't work. So he calls us to ask why, and we tell him it's got to be programmed."
Apparently someone took the wrong exit off the Circular Logic Roundabout, but . . . . moving on. "Okay," I say, "can you program these keys?"
"Sure, but there will be a $45 fee," the service rep told me. I must have looked a bit startled--remember, these keys cost $20 to start with--so he quickly added, "That's because we have to Go On the Computer." He voiced this in precisely the tone I imagine nuclear scientists must employ when they say "activate the particle accelerator."
But. Here's the bottom line: You can't have just one set of keys to a vehicle. So I signed the paperwork . A little more than an hour later, they give me my keys. But now ALL THREE DON'T WORK. Including the original key that came with the vehicle.
So I go back to the service rep and apprise him of this fact. He gets the tech, they both go outside into the rain with me, and the tech tries all three keys. None of them work. He tries them again, in different sequences, and finally one of them turns the engine over.
"One of the keys is probably bad," he says. He sends me a suspicious glance. "Where did you say you got these keys?"
I explained to him, for about the seventh time, that one key was original to the vehicle and two keys were duplicates their shop had made, but which had never worked.
"Well, that's because you didn't get them programmed," he told me. "This key doesn't look new," he said, looking at one of the keys that was currently off my key ring. "Where did you say you got it?"
Deep breath, repeat key history. Apparently I wasn't very convincing, because he said, "Well, looks like you brought in a bad key. If you try a good key after a bad key, then the good key won't work."
The patronizing level was edging into my red zone, but Sean was waiting (in the rain) for me to pick him up, and I had no interest in engaging these guys any more than I absolutely had to. So I just said, "Okay. Which is the bad key?"
He sent me a long suffering look. "I took them off the ring to program them, so they're all mixed up."
That made absolutely no sense. Worse, he followed up with, "But you got three keys. If one don't work, try another one."
I had to bite my tongue to keep from observing, "That rather defeats the purpose of spare keys, wouldn't you think?" What I actually said was, "These keys will be carried by different family members. It's unlikely that any of us will have all three keys at the same time. I need three keys that work."
By now they're both looking at me as if I'm a unreasonable, raving bitch, but the technician tries again and lo and behold, the car starts. He tries the other keys with the same result. "Your problem is," he informs me in a tone that suggests he knew this all along and that I, had I possessed enough gray matter to fill an ash tray, would have realized, as well, "You're trying to start the car too fast. You can't just turn the key. You have to put it in the ignition and wait maybe 30 or 45 seconds until the car recognizes the key. Because they've been, you know, programmed."
Of course. Silly me.
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God, I hate these people. Nothing makes me see red faster.
http://www.msprotege.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-71178.html"As you may know, the Mazda3 has a built in security system that utilizes a key with an embedded transponder chip that is read by the car's ECU when you start the car. The ECU is programmed to accept only certain transponder codes. If a key's transponder is not registered with the ECU it will not allow the car to be started.
Good to know. The vehicle in question is a 2001 Mazda Tribute, not a Mazda3. Not sure that makes any difference, but the point remains: Why would a service department sell customers a key that they KNOW will not work?
Oh, there's no doubt that they were being jerk-off idiots. I would have been making plans to murder them in their sleep. :) The profound and redundant idiocy is astounding--it looks like about 4 times there they screwed you over--or tried to. You should call your sales guy and tell him that story--a lot of time, they'll go to bat for you because they want you to give them repeat business. Or maybe call the service department manager.
I just got curious and googled--in the future, it looks like you can program your own keys.
Thanks! Here's hoping it won't be necessary, though.
Yeah, you can program them yourself.
The ironic part about that though is they charge you $50 bucks to do something so simple.
Oh. My. God.
Next time, take my wife with you. The Irish Princess can not only castigate them with a few disparaging words, she can also have them groveling at her feet in 15 minutes after she tears them up and down with automotive mechanical information that will make them wish they'd never gotten out of bed.
We got a new spoiler, CD radio, tires and serpentine belt (all at once!) because of her magic powers. (Correction: Irish temper.)
Dipshits like that deserve bad karmic hell.
Gah...you must have the patience of a saint. I would have probably walked out after the first time the keys didn't work and gone someplace else. ::grrr::
~T
I have SO been there. The only thing more frustrating is buying the car in the first place.
BTW, the engineer line doesn't work. Trust me, I know.
Yeah, I figured it wouldn't.
![[User Picture]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/76219381/11408443) | | From: | ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cdpeck |
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| Date: | May 8th, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC) |
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I would have stuck the key in the guy's eye socket and shouted, "YOU'RE BRAIN ISN'T STARTING! IT MUST NEED TO BE PROGRAMMED!"
![[User Picture]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/40559120/5179375) | | From: | revena |
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| Date: | May 8th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC) |
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Wow. Just... wow.
Yea it's bad. My wife is an engineer for Ford, me married a rocket scientist, and she took her old Explorer in for basic maintenance quite a few years ago to a place that was recommended to her.
Well the next day they call ... start giving her a load of things that are horribly wrong with the truck. Major issues with the 4x4 linkage, etc. After listening to them go on about the horrible issues with her truck she stops them, asks about the vehicle in question -- basically ensuring that it is indeed her Explorer that they're talking about. She thanks them then says she'll stop by and talk about it.
After I drive her over she again gets the same spiel about the issues with the truck, mainly in the 4x4 linkage (and other things), and how if she doesn't get it replaced she could have some serious issues in the future. She listened again to them, nodded, and then smiled when she said "I'm an engineer with Ford, and in case you didn't notice my truck is a 2x2 and doesn't have any of the parts on it that you listed." They freaked and tried to backtrack, which didn't stop her from reporting them to some people inside Ford she knew. They took a beating in terms of their official service tag (which I'm not even sure exists anymore) and almost lost it all together.
She was quite pleased to do everything she could go get them beaten down. I was so proud of her, she usually just leaves and stews over that crap.
It sounds like he was brainwashed programmed. :)
Blargh!
I once had something break on my car (right out of college, I was), and since I figured I'd save time on the labor (retail wages don't cover much), I started working on the darned thing to eliminate possibilities for why it wasn't working the way it ought to. (I'm no engineer, but I can read manuals and troubleshooting guides and car fix-it books and then use that knowledge.)
So, when I finally had the thing towed in and told them what I thought the problem was, I did get the condescending "you're a woman" sort of thing.
Then, they went ahead and checked everything I'd already checked, and found it that was, in fact, the thing that I said was broken.
But this programming thing...that beats my story by a lot. I think I would've shown them that I do indeed have red hair. (That sometimes happens -- mostly I'm laid back until I'm dealing with idiots who think (1) I'm an idiot and (2) they can scam me.)
the four magic words to use here would be "i want the manager".
![[User Picture]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/44797866/7926932) | | From: | jeff_h |
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| Date: | May 9th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC) |
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My girlfriend's car came with two keys (she bought a used Ford Taurus). One key has a chip in it, the other does not. I get the spare so I can unlock the car, open the trunk, and turn on the accessory, but I can't start the car. A key with a chip in it is $65. What a joke!
Regarding crooked mechanics, my girlfriend's younger brother takes auto repair at the occ ed center (basically, half day at a trade high school). His instructor was TEACHING THE CLASS HOW TO SCAM CUSTOMERS. For example, telling a customer they needed a new solenoid when, in fact, they did not. Most people hear that and have no idea what a solenoid is and assume the dude knows what he's talking about. Mechanics are scam artists. Not all of them, but I never go into an auto shop without thinking the mechanic is trying to screw me. Auto sales people as well.
Writers tell lies for a living, But at least we're up front about asking clients to suspend disbelief.
I don't suppose dealerships would be willing to separate their service departments into fiction and non-fiction?
Indeed! You wouldn't believe the ire I had last year when I went to buy a new car. I was thinking that in this day and age of hte 'internets' that I could shop online for my new car. I went to the Checy website, and went through the whole Build and Price tool they provide only to find out all it is is a stupid teaser that allows you to search authorized car lots in you area for a car not at all similar to what you spent a half-hour putting together.
And, to top it off, I still had to go to a car lot and deal with those shysters. I hate having to buy a car with a passion. Could you imagine going to the grocery store with the cashiers and associates having a criminal mentality like car sales? I'm sure the violent murder rate in our country would be phenomenal.
All I ask for is to go online, see what the established price is of the car I'm willing to buy and add the warranty for a normal price, then paying online for the vehicle and picking it up at a reasonable location. That way, I don't have one reason to deal with those ass-clowns. Now, if only we can set up a lending tree site for mechanics, with reviews so that we can drive the bad ones out of business. Gods!! As someone else mentioned, karmic retribution - I say Engines, Warp Factor Nine, Mr. Sulu!!
Please forgive the typo's, I get angry when I start thinking of this crap and it effects how I punch... errrr, push the keys. |
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